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A Widower’s Story – Learning to Date Again

I became widowed two years ago. My wife Yafah and I were together for over 50 years. I felt so lonely and scared when she left. I had retired only two years before her death, with the hope that we could finally begin to enjoy life and travel the world. When Yafah died I became so miserable. Every night I prayed and asked God to join her.

We had no children. Also, our good friends had become older and less social over the years. After 50 years of love and companionship, I suddenly found myself with no one to share my life with. I was lost and alone; a man without a defined place in the world.

Then one day I saw a “Global Match” ad in the newspaper. My first reaction was, “I don’t want another woman. I don’t know how to behave with a woman.” When I was young everything was different. I also assumed that there were no women who’d want a man approaching the age of 70. I disregarded the paper, but I found myself thinking constantly about how I want to find a nice woman. To travel with her, share my life with her. And most of all, I didn’t want to be so alone anymore.

It took me another two weeks and many sleepless nights before I dared to pick up the phone. It was much easier than I thought. On the phone, Dorit was so patient and funny. After we arranged a meeting at their office, I felt like was going to meet new friends, not for an intimidating interview. I wasn’t disappointed.

I met Ilana and Dorit at their warm and homey office. The conversation was filled with lots of laughter and a feeling of good friendship. We all agreed I was a complete novice in the dating area. They told me all about the process and I found out it wasn’t as bad as I thought. I was even very excited by the idea of meeting new people. My requirements were not complicated. I asked for a healthy woman age 60-70, who was in good shape, full of “Joie De Vivre”, intelligent and fun to be with.

I registered and immediately became very excited.

I dated for 5 months and met 10 women. It was difficult at first, because none of them was like my wife Yafah. But I was optimistic. I wanted to believe there was a good reason for me to live. I even could sleep at night.

Then I met Sarah. She reminded me so much of my Yafah, it was really scary. She also lost her husband for a heart disease and had spent over 10 years alone.

We talked for hours about life and being alone. About what we lost, what we lack. It didn’t take too long for us to discover that we didn’t want to say good bye.

Sarah invited me for Shabbat dinner with her children and grandchildren. I found myself surrounded by a loving family and lots of smiles and laughter. To my surprise I enjoyed every minute of it.

At the same weekend we went for a walk on the beach. For the first time I kissed another woman, not my beloved Yafah. I felt remorse, but I knew deep inside that if my beautiful Yafah up there saw me, she would wish me luck and want me to be happy.

Today Sarah and I travel the world together. There are difficult moments, but I know that life must go on. I’m glad to be part of a loving couple once again, sharing the good and bad times together as one. We know that many good years are waiting for us, together.

We thank Ilana and Dorit for supporting us all the way.

Moshe and Sarah’le.

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