A few weeks ago I had an intense discussion with a dear friend about the meaning of success and failure.

My friend claimed that if you don’t reach the maximum of your capabilities you will never be successful. For example: A Doctor at a hospital that realizes he or she will never be a professor or department manager. A Lawyer that aspires to be appointed a judge, but never achieves this dream. An army officer that yearns to reach the rank of colonel but does not. These people will live with a sense of missed opportunity all their lives.

The discussion between me and my friend became even more intense. Can a person who has reached the highest level of their career, such as CEO, Commander in Chief, President or Prime Minister, be happier than a manager, secretary, a salesperson or a nurse?

I claimed that if you love your work, make a good living and still have time for personal interests, such as finding the time to spend with your spouse, your children and your close family, you are much more successful than a senior manager who works 24/7 and makes significantly more money. Often, financially successful people have little or no room for quality time in their lives, because they are constantly working. I gave an example of famous celebrities. Most of them don’t have any spare time for their friends or family.

The debate lasted all evening. Needless to say each of us stayed in his mind.

The problem is that society has become more and more materialistic. Sadly, people are measured by their economic situation. If you’re rich, that means you are a very successful person. No matter how you’ve made your fortune.

For an example: a person who owned many properties was considered successful. But he had lost everything during the recession period. Is he a loser now? Isn’t he the same person you wanted to be friends with, before the crisis?

Are people measured by their contribution to their immediate environment ? By their good heart, generosity, and their ability to be real true friends? Are they measured by their ability to give good advice or a nice word, when someone needs it ? Or are they mainly measured by what they can contribute to others because of their economic situation?

I give up!

I just hope that every one of you appreciates his or herself well, because that is what matters the most.

If you love what you do, if you’re with a spouse you love, if you have children and you can provide them with all their needs like love, security and peace of mind, for me you are the biggest winner.

In case you are not this person, it’s not the end of the world. As long as you are healthy, you are still capable to make a change in your life.

May we all have a wonderful year. May we achieve all the goals we have set for ourselves. May we all believe that there is a winner in each and every one of us!

ilana Gutman