Posts Tagged ‘jewish matchmaker’

One of the questions I am asked often by parents who care about their children’s future is, how can we help our child meet an appropriate match, even if they don’t like the idea of using a matchmaking service?

I say – first of all, are you sure you know enough about your child’s personal life to determine for sure that he/she isn’t involved emotionally with anyone they don’t want you to know about?

For example, your child might be involved with a married person,  a divorcee with children or a non-Jewish person. Or maybe your child is not into it at all because he/she is gay or lesbian.

Are you open enough with your childn to know the true reason that he or she is single? Perhaps it is not only a result of limited social life.

I ask this because on many occasions parents have registered their child to my service and when we called him or her, it turned out he or she wasn’t emotionally available at all. Moreover, she or he has long been in contact with a partner that their parents probably did not approve of or even know about.

However, if you are certain that your child is emotionally available and wants to meet someone, then it’s a perfect time to begin to “probe” what she or he thinks about dating through a matchmaking service.

You might be surprised to find out that they are happy about the idea and are willing they are to cooperate, especially when they know that you’re paying for the service, not them.

If you succeed in convincing your child to make an appointment, I will meet with them in person and explain how the matchmaking process works. I will first learn what type of people your child finds attractive and then describe what type of matches I will introduce her/him to. Once the registration interview is complete, we are set to go.

However, there are a few kids who might be offended by your suggestion to set them up on a date and might respond “what am I a cripple or disabled? Do you really think I need help?  I can find my match by myself,  I don’t need anyone’s help!”

If your child responds in this way, you can say: Thank G-d you’re not cripple or disabled, but your social networks & activities are limited around you. You are not exposed to the right people, people serious enough who are looking for marriage, not just to go out for casual dates.

If they refuse to make an appointment, which often happens, don’t mention it again to your child. Make contact with one of their good friends and tell them about your plan. Ask them to be the contact between me and your child. You’ll be surprised how easily your child will agree to go on a date with a friend’s recommendation rather than a mother’s or father’s.

If the friend is willing to cooperate, which likely happens, from that moment everything is very simple. We schedule a meeting, you bring pictures of your child and the contact number of the good friend who’s willing to help us. I tell this friend about our plan, and together we make up a “cover story” as for how to introduce a potential match to your child.

Sounds difficult to do? Maybe. But remember this: it will be much more difficult if your daughter or son stays single, or marries someone who is not suitable for them just because of the fear of staying alone.

So……..Come on parents, get to work !

Call me, I’ll be glad to meet with each of you. Together we’ll do everything we can so that next year your son or daughter will be happily married to their Jewish soulmate.

Yours Truly,
ilana Gutman

818 224 9544
818 788 8360

Yael – From Shy girl to Happy Married Woman

My Name is Yael, I’m 27 Years Old and I have a Masters Degree in Law.

I am shy and a bit insecure person. I must also admit that I never had enough self confidence.

As a child I was always my parents’ favorite. I was the smart kid that never got into troubles in school. I always had the perfect grades. I was a total nerd.

As a grown-up person, after graduating High-School, I have started to think about my goals in life. I knew I’d have an academic education. I also knew I’d find the perfect job.

But it wasn’t enough anymore. I have started to think about finding the right match.

A year ago, I found an ad on the “Living In America” magazine. It’s a magazine for Israelis in America. This ad was about “Global Match” – Matchmaking Service for Israelis living in America. So I decided to give it a try and called their office to make an appointment for a personal interview. Without any obligation on my part.

I met with Ilana Gutman. Ilana is a professional matchmaker with over 20 years of experience in this field. She told me about the whole process. I decided to sign up for the service.

I told her that I’m not the Bars/Clubs type of girl and that I’m looking for a down-to-earth type of a guy. Like me.

Prior to each date, Ilana gave me all the information I needed to know about the guy I was about to meet. What type of a guy he was, how he looked like and a bit about his personality in general. I met a few guys, but there was no chemistry. Something was still missing.

After like 2 months I went on a date with Ben. A 28 years old computer engineer, very charming, smart, loving & caring person. We liked each other from the first moment we met. We have spent a wonderful time together for 8 months. I guess it was enough for us to know that, this is it. A bit later Ben proposed and I said yes.

We both want to thank Ilana and Dorit for all the help & support, their highly Dedication & Commitment to their work.

We’ll see you at our wedding!

The story of Hanna

My name is Hanna. I became a widow when I was 55 years old, after my husband Abraham was diagnosed with cancer and passed away. We had been together all our lives. After so many years of real love & happiness, and suddenly it’s all gone – I was in total shock. Even with all the love and support from my children & grandchildren, I felt lonely and miserable. I couldn’t believe I’d ever find happiness again. The house was so empty.

Many of our friends kept inviting me to hang out with them, but it wasn’t the same. I always felt like the fifth wheel. I had to face the truth. From now on, I’m single for the rest of my life.

One day my friend Martha called. She found a very interesting ad on the local LA newspaper. This ad was about “Global Match”. My first reaction was like “are you kidding me they don’t ‘deal’ with people at my age, I’m too old ! I’m about to celebrate my 59th birthday!”.

Martha didn’t give up. “ Come on, what have you got to lose? give them a call and ask. They won’t charge you for just getting basic information, right? I’ll even join you.”

I called them. A very kind girl named Dorit was on the line. She told me about the process and recommended me to come for a personal interview.

Martha came with me to the meeting. It took us only a few minutes and we both felt very comfortable there. I had a very strong feeling I could trust them. I knew they’d make an effort to find me a mate for life.

After the interview I knew this wasn’t going to be easy though. I have never dated other people. There are so many people out there who are searching for love. But it takes some time to find the right one. And all I needed was to be patient and open-minded.

I signed up for the service and we hit the road.

I dated Israelis and Americans as well during a period of 6 months. It wasn’t easy for me. You know….after so many years not dating anyone but my husband. Here I must say that Ilana and Dorit were very supportive, they encouraged me to never give up hope. And as hard as it was, I felt that my life was about to change.

Then I met David. I knew it was different right from the start. We laughed a lot, we had a great conversation. I told him about my family and he also shared stories about his son and grandson. We instantly found a lot in common. We didn’t want the date to end.

When I came home, there was a message from David saying that he had a great time, and that he was looking forward to see me again.

We dated for a few months and had a wonderful time together. I never believed this could happen. I never believed I could love someone else but my husband. We were so happy and decided to move in together. Our kids and grand-kids are so happy for us and very supportive.

We would like to thank Ilana and Dorit for being so supportive and caring. Their dedication is very much appreciated !

We hope that other people like us would find happiness like we did.

Edan – Me? A Matchmaking Service?

I met Yael around my late 20’s. I loved her from the first moment I saw her. We dated for two years and decided it was time for us to get married and have kids. She was the love of my life. After 2 years of marriage we had our first son. A year later we had a daughter – Gabriela. We had a strong bond, great marriage & 2 wonderful children. I was simply the happiest man alive. Until that day. The day when my wife wasn’t feeling well. After running a few tests, her doctor gave us the worst news ever. My wife was diagnosed with cancer.

The next 2 years were the hardest and the saddest time of my life. After a long struggle with this horrible disease, my wife succumbed and past away.

It was very hard for me to face the reality. I was widowed, very weak and heart-broken. But I knew I had to be strong for the sake of my children.

During the 2 years after my wife’s death, all I did was taking care of my kids and be attentive to their needs. I wanted them to have a normal life despite what happened. Also, the emotional stress was too high for me to focus on my social life.

When I did start wondering what was out there for me I couldn’t even think about online dating. I wanted a woman with maternal instincts. A woman who was willing to accept my children as if they were her own. Someone who could understand what I was going through and accept me the way I am.

I never imagined myself contacting a matchmaking service, but I found myself having little time to look for a good match for myself, and I wanted to meet a woman who I could truly care about, and who could care about my children and myself.

I decided to contact Global Match, because a matchmaking service would help me find a Jewish date with a woman who knew that I had two kids, who loved children, and who could be a good match for me. It is very hard to meet good matches when you are a single father and have to dedicate a substantial time to your kids. As a single father I have to be careful of who I let into my children’s lives. When I met Ilana, I knew this was a a good decision. She worked hard to find a truly good match for me, according to my circumstances and lifestyle.

Today, I’m in a great relationship with a Kindergarten Teacher who loves kids. We have been together for 8 months. My kids have a lot of affection for her and that makes me very happy.

Thanks to Ilana and “Global Match” today I can find Love and Inner Joy in life.

My Wish List

Some of the singles I meet at the office bring a “Wish-List” in their hands. They only want a certain range of Ages & Height. They only want to meet educated people. They only want them to be financially secured with a nice car. Of course they only want him/her to be Slender & Single.

I smile at them and I tell the following story:

As a part of our service in Israel we organized Trips overseas, as well as Weekends Getaways & Trips all over the country. Everyone had a chance to get to know all the others without any pressure. There was no time limit to impress anyone, which gave them the ability to be themselves and loosen up.

Each trip or weekend ended with at least one match. Both the girl and the guy had called me to hold their membership service. They liked each other and wanted to see where it was going.

One day Rina called. She was a customer for over a year then, asking me to hold her service because she met David. They like each other, they want to see where it goes.

I started laughing and said: ”I could have introduced you to this guy a year ago !”

Then Rina said: ”So why didn’t you ?”

I replied :”You wanted only Ashkenazi, he’s Sepharadic. You wanted only Single, he’s Divorced. You wanted only Educated, he’s an Electrician”.

Then Rina said: ”I guess I’m really stupid, right ?”

Then I said :”My dear, There are no rules for falling in love. You have to open your heart and mind. When you fall for someone you compromise on so many things. The beauty in this is, when you’re in love you don’t even know you compromised.

The best example here is my mother. A widow with 4 kids and no money, who eventually got married with a single man who fell in love with her and gave up on having his own children. This man accepted my mother with 4 kids, loved us as if we were his own, and that’s how we treat him in return.

Do you really think that a single man who’s looking for marriage, would have put “Widow with 4 kids” in his “Wish-List” ? I don’t think so.

When people meet and fall in love, anything is possible and the sky’s the limit.

So when you put “Only Young & Single” in a “Wish-List”, you’re probably missing your Soul-Mate.

I’ll be the first one to say that there are certain things you can’t and won’t compromise on. Like if the person is violent or cheap or generally a bad person. Or if you feel you can’t open your heart and tell him/her what’s on your mind. Or if the person is indecent, disloyal or even just lazy (in terms of work).

But come on guys, if he/she is a little bit older, or if he/she is 1 or 2 sizes more than the average. Do you really think that’s what will stop you from being happy with this person ??

Think about it. Call me with an open mind and no “Wish-List”.

Yours,
ilana

My Name Is Ilana Gutman

When I tell people I’m a Matchmaker, they ask: ”What kind of a profession is that ?”

Indeed, you don’t have to earn a certificate nor a degree to be a Matchmaker.

A matchmaker is characterized as curious, nosy, caring for others and most of all having a love for people. Now you must be thinking “I know at least 100 curious & nosy people, than what’s the difference?”

I do believe that it’s very possible that if there hadn’t been a tragedy in my life, I could have been one of these people.

I grew up in Haifa, Israel. We were a typical Ashkenazim family of two loving parents and four children. My mom was a housekeeper, my dad was self-employed. We had dinner together every night. We played cards every Friday night. We had a picnic & a BBQ every Saturday.

On one of those Saturdays on “Simchat Torah”, we had a picnic with friends of my parents near the Lake Kinneret. We played ball, we swam and had good food.
Suddenly my dad became nauseous. It took only a few minutes for him to collapse and die of a stroke.

My father was 39 when he died. Strong, Healthy and Irresponsible.

Now you must be asking :” Irresponsible”???  Irresponsible because when he died my mother had nothing.

No Life-Insurance, No Profession, No Secured Income.

My mother was 36 with four kids to look after. With help from Ministry of Welfare and good friends, she picked herself up. She took every job she could find, She even studied at night. A few years later she could stand on her feet and support herself with four kids.

Giving up would have been very easy. I didn’t let her. I supported her in any way I could. I convinced her to believe that there are still decent men out there. All she had to do was keep looking. Finally she realized that she couldn’t give up. She must go on dates until she finds the right man for her.

My mother finally found her life-long partner. Yes, they are still together.

Her bad experiences, disappointments and heartbreaks brought me to the conclusion that no matter what’s your age or personal status, you want and need a loving partner.

It may sound unreasonable, but at the age of 20 I knew I was going to be a Matchmaker. Indeed, After a few years I opened a Matchmaking Service at my hometown. Later on, I opened three more locations – Jerusalem, Tel-Aviv & Be’er Shevah.

I devoted all my life to Matchmaking. Hundreds of couples who got married through my service are the most rewarding prize for years of hard work. It was very frustrating at times, but I wouldn’t trade this profession in any other.

I know it’s difficult to open up your heart to a total stranger when you need help, especially when you are paying for it. If you trust me enough to lead the way, I promise to do ANYTHING in my power not to let you down and find the perfect life-long partner for you.

There’s nothing more important in life than good Health. I believe that having a family with a loving partner is as important.

There’s a reason for the saying :”Not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him”.

So don’t be embarrassed, call me. There is no obligation to anything on the first meeting. We’ll talk about what you’re looking for and together we’ll make your dream come true.